Posts by Frazzled UBM

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

Kate - it s possible she is using the money for another purpose - such as providing fianncial support to her family back in the Philippines - but she knows I don't have a problem with that so if that is what is happening I am not sure why she would be so reluctant to tell me. I have told her that if that is what she is using the money for she should tell me so I don't jump to the wrong conclusion - namely that she is donating the money to the WBTS. It may be that she is using some for her family and some to donate. I have tried to create a non-confrontational environment to draw her out so she will tell me what is going on but it doesn't seem to be working.

hi paladin - it seems you are in the tough position of others here who learn TTATT but whose spouses' thinking are caught in the vice-like grip of the WBTS. I hope that is going okay. It must be very frustrating in that situation to see family finances being wasted in that way? That is the way I feel.

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

yes Kate but I feel like such a chump handing over money to a person who refuses to say what she intends using it for.

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

emeth - you are fooling yourself - there was a whole WT Study about Making Sacrifices acouple of weks back which used the word donate about 10 times and was very heavy on the guilt - that is tactic number one for the organisation to raise funds.

On the whole controlling issue - maybe I didn't explain myself very well - she has free use of the money she earns - I do not ask her to donate a cent to the family coffers - I pay everything - food, rent, family outings and holidays - but when she asks me to top up her discretionary account with my money I think I am entitled to know what she is spending her money on before I agree. I think I am being more than generous not asking her to contribute to family expenses but it is a bit rich when she asks me to give her additional money without explaining why. It is all part of my campaign to get her to open up. If she were more open, I would be more relaxed

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

mynameislame - since being exposed to the behaviour of someone controlled by this cult, including lying and deception by omission and basically being shut out of an important part of her life and not knowing what is going on in her head, I adopt any tactic I can to extract information because when I get no information my imagination becomes overactive - if this is controlling so be it but I cannot sit by happily and watch the Watchtower manipulate my wife and will fight whatever rearguard action I can. We have serious trust issues, I don't trust her cult persona and she doesn't trust my Satan-inspired UBM persona. My birthday is in December and she is not in the business of buying birthday presents. This is not a trivial amount she ahs withdrawn - you don't think I have a right to know what she is spending close to £1000 of our joint resources on? Fraz

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

emeth - I hope you are being facetious - what you really mean is each gives the amount they are guilted and pressured into giving surely...

blondie - I was thinking about your receipt for tax purposes and thought there may be a silver lining of getting a receipt in my name from the organisation - I could then sue them for fraud!

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

Blondie - yes she can spend the money she earns without my approval BUT she asks me for additional money and my view is she is not entitled to additional money from me unless she tells me why she needs more than the money she earns. She doesn't drive and she catches the train to the KH -she used to ask me to top up her oyter card for th train but I now refuse tod o that if she is using the card to travel to the KH. She doesn't earn enough to pay tax. I am the tax payer. I will suggest to her that if she is contributing more than £250 a year and she can get receipts in my name I can make a tax claim (it seems so wrong as I am opposed to the WBTS being classified as a charity) . I expect she will deny donating more than £250 a year even though I am sure she does.

53

Jehovah's Witnesses Street recruiting thwarted by "Apostates"

by Watchtower-Free in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fylyfc_0we.

Frazzled UBM

I make regular efforts to witness to Witnesses. My most recent line was to say how I felt so sorry for them on the basis they were victims of an organisation that had perfected techniques to mislead and manipulate over a 100 year period. The look on their faces was priceless as they went from fake warmth to lack of comprehension to stunned silence.

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

I have told her she doesn't see any more of my money until she tells me what she is using her money for. She didn't like it. My view is that our donations should also be a big fat zero but that is very hard to enforce. Luckily I have access to her account so I can see when she makes big withdrawals.

9

Been through so much!

by MissConfused in

its been a while that i came here due to so many ups and downs emotionally.. :(.

crazy that the family is so divided now that we cannot sit and talk (even though we pretend while attending meetings).

all i can think is this line from hotel california - "you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave"... love the family so much that dont feel like hurting them.. this is killing me.. regards, miss confused!.

Frazzled UBM

Miss Confused - I feel your pain. Such a difficult situation you are in but quite similar to others on this board. Finding the right course is very difficult and while your own piece of mind and living in a WBTS-free world must be a high priority - finding a way to manage your family is just as important - hasty action that destroys your family should be avoided. So don't feel any pressure to rush to action. Keep working on your husband to keep in on side so that he can adjust to the new reality of you knowing TTATT. If he loves you, as long as you don't shove TTATT down his throat, he should accept you for who you are and what you believe or don't beleive.

50

Donations - how much is normal?

by Frazzled UBM in

how much would a well-off witness be expected to donate?

my wife has just withdrawn a few hundred pounds from her account and refuses to tell me why so i suspect she plans to donate it as she hasn't donated for a while because she knows i don't want our money going to the organisation.

is it likely that she is feeling under pressure to make a large donation?.

Frazzled UBM

I am in the top tax bracket so she is viewed as well-off even though she earns minimum wage (she doesn't contribute to household expenses and hordes her money). £100 a month is not insubstantial as it adds up to £1200 a year. I would be horrified if she is contributing that amount of our family funds to the evil organisation as we have a sizable mortagage and other expenses. Of course she would never tell me if she is. I also have no idea if the KH needs repairs or renovations etc.